HERBODE SISTAS

For today’s edition of the HerbodeSistas, we received a beautiful story from Miracle telling us how her sister held her down during what she considered the toughest time of her life.

I don’t even know where to begin but I’ll give it a try. So, for context, I’m the last child and I have five sisters. My sister is ten years older than I am so you can imagine the possibility of us not being close. Growing up, we weren’t exactly close and I was so detached from her. I’ve always created a distinction between caring for me and being close to me and for the longest time, I didn’t see her as my friend because she only cared and provided for me but we weren’t close at all. She would often scold me for the littlest things and just make a mountain out of nothing so that drove me further apart from her.

I graduated from the university last year and finally came home while waiting for my name to be shortlisted for law school. It was during this period that I got close to my sisters who was also home at the time. So, fast forward to the time the law school list came out, I wasn’t lucky enough. Now, if you’re a law student or know someone who is, you will understand the pressure on all of us to go to law school and the disappointment we face when we see our mates going while we’re left behind, especially when you think of your friends being called to bar and you’re just there.

That period was a very dark period for me because all my friends got in and what is the need of actually slaving in school for five years when I won’t be going to law school? I was so upset because it gets even tougher to get into law school after your set has gone.

Anyways, let’s just say I became really depressed and I was unable to find happiness in anything. I was grumpy and always snapped. I tried journaling, online therapy, etc, nothing seemed to work. I distanced myself from all my friends and just stayed indoors and even got off social media. During this time, my sister was so supportive. She didn’t give me any crap or try to make me feel bad or blame the whole thing on me. She just let me be and never tried to impose a new direction on me like forcing me to find a job or whatever, she just let me be. She would buy things for me while coming back from work and give me money to go out and all of that. Most mornings, I woke up crying and my sister would just come into the room to give me a hug and tell me all will be fine.

It got to the point where she decided I should leave Nigeria and pursue my masters in a different field then come back later to pursue the law school degree. My family really doesn’t have a lot of money but they were ready to make that happen at the recommendation of my sister just so I could be happy again. They all put their hands on deck trying to get that plan on the road. My sister researched schools, courses I could do, etc.

Eventually, i got wind of the news that a second law school list will be released soon and they all rallied around, calling everyone they knew, just so I could get on the list this time around.

I got a happy surprise when I came back one day and saw a bag filled with black gowns, the type we wear in law school. My sister had gone shopping for me even before the post came out and she said 'I bought this so you can see that I have faith that this time won’t pass you by and that you too will also believe that'. From that day onwards, she would come home with a different thing for law school. She kept shopping for me even before the list came out. On days when I would get news that was discouraging, she would go back to calling everyone she knew and buying even more things just to strengthen my faith.

I can go on and on but because of time, I’ll just say that the list finally came and I was fortunate enough to have made it. We haven’t even resumed yet and my sister has provided everything I need and I didn’t have to lift a finger.

I’m really so lucky to be blessed with a sister who would go above and beyond for me.

It is because of her that I’ve realized that love can be so unconditional because I seriously can’t say one thing I’ve done right to deserve all the love.