Herbode Sistas

For today’s edition of Herbode sistas, we want to hear from you. Tell us about the time a woman who you didn’t even know came through for you.

We’ll start first by sharing three stories sent in by our sistas about the time random women came through for them.

Vivian

I think this was in 400 level and I was going through a rough patch at the time in school. So, I usually keep up with my period and the date it’ll come out but I wasn’t particularly in the headspace to do that cause like I said, I was going through it. I got to school and went straight to class so I could get the whole thing over with and that was when I noticed some guys were giggling and talking about something related to me. I didn’t really care because I just wasn’t in the place to care about anything. I got to class and just went to sit down. I was trying to finish up on a task when this girl walked up to me and whispered that I was stained.

It’s like the world suddenly became dark and I was so embarrassed, partly because I’ve known the girl since year one but haven’t said as much as a hi to her. She gave me her scarf to tie around my waist and took me to her room in the hostel because I was staying at a lodge outside school. This girl who I’ve never spoken to before gave me water to wash off, a pad and even begged her roommate that was my size to lend me her jeans. That was how she saved me from further embarrassment and though we never became friends, I always said hi to her every time. That moment taught me that you don’t even have to be friends to help your fellow woman and I’ll always be grateful for her.

Naza

My story is funny but I’ll tell it anyway, lol.

So this happened in a popular market in the east. If you know Ahia Ohuru, you’d know how busy it can be every single day, especially on Wednesdays and Fridays. I’m no stranger to men touching me and saying stuff in the market cause I consider myself very attractive but to be fair, those men would call after dogs at this point.

So, I own a thrift business and often go to buy things from the market on Fridays especially, and this particular Friday, I went about my business. I was not even in a happy mood because I had to find some clothes for a customer who wasn’t satisfied with her previous order. I was walking like a mad woman with no care in the world when this guy started pulling me unprovoked and at first I ignored, but he just followed me and continued, saying nonsense as usual. I got fed up and told him to stop following me else I’d slap him.

It seemed to have pissed him off cause he started insulting me and calling me a prostitute and even said that I wore what I wore specifically to attract attention so why was I angry when he was giving me what I wanted. I was putting on three quarter jeans and a big polo so I didn’t really understand the outburst. Anyways, in their usual manner, other men joined and started calling me an Ashawo and I was running my mouth back at them but it was looking like a lost battle cause one even touched me and said I should follow him to slap him and see if he won’t rape me till I die, yes, the same words. We were standing in front of a stall at that time and I didn’t know the woman who owned the store was listening and watching.

Next thing I knew, she started sprinkling water on the guys and pulled out one stick holding up her table and said she’ll use it to hit them if they didn’t leave me alone. This woman couldn’t have been less than 60 but she came out from her shop and started chasing these men away with sticks. It was at this point that other men joined and told those other ones to just respect the old woman and leave me alone. I was crying at this point and this woman took me into her store, gave me water to drink and started comforting me. She even bought puff puff for me and told me not to take whatever they said to heart.

She kept drumming it into my ears that I wasn’t a prostitute and what I wore wasn’t bad. After some minutes, I thanked her and left but she called me back and gave me 200 naira and said I should use it for transport. I didn’t want to take it but she insisted and said she wanted to because she would want another woman somewhere to do the same for her daughters when she can’t be there. This thing happened like a year ago but I still remember that event so clearly. She sells underwear and I didn’t really sell them but because of her, I added it to my sales list and I never miss going to her shop. I’ll always be thankful for her help that day.

Amaka

I know I’m supposed to tell one story but permit me to tell two, I’ll be brief.

First one, in secondary school, I saw my first period in class. It was humiliating and embarrassing and I was so confused. We had biology then and the teacher noticed I was unusually quiet, after class she called me and I told her my dilemma. Thankfully I wasn’t stained because we wore navy blue. She took the wrapper meant for her baby and laid it on the floor for me to lie down. She went outside the school to buy pain relief for me and bought me a pad. This may look like nothing but as someone who didn’t have so many female figures growing up, it meant a lot to me. She let me sleep in her office till school was over and bought me food when I woke up. She didn’t allow students to enter the office because she didn’t want them to wake me. I haven’t seen her in years but I’m sure she’s blessed wherever she is.

Secondly, I was sexually harassed by a lecturer in the university and I finally mustered courage to tell my staff adviser. This man bullshited me and said I was lying. I felt so depressed and even though my friends were there to help, their hands were just as tied as mine, one of my friends mentioned the event to one of her lecturers and this woman took this up without even asking me twice. She told me she didn’t need any evidence and she believed me. She didn’t mind that she was a junior lecturer and he was a senior lecturer. This woman is the reason that man faced the school committee and even though they only suspended him, I’m still grateful to her because he almost got away with it.

Not just that, she would call me everyday to talk to me and remind me that it isn’t my fault and justice will be served. She assured me that she wouldn’t let the man carry out revenge on me directly or indirectly and true to her word, she didn’t. Even when other lecturers close to the man gave me missing scripts, she went marching to their office and demanded an explanation. She even followed me on two occasions to exams and records to find my script. Thanks to her, I graduated without any problem and I’m heavily considering working in academia because I want to give back the kindness these two lovely women gave me. I can’t imagine what I would have done without them and I don’t want another girl to be stranded out there without having someone like them, so I’m hoping I’d become like them one day too.