Things I Am No Longer Apologizing For (And You Shouldn’t Either)

For so long, I was always on the defensive, constantly justifying myself and saying, “I am sorry.” Don’t get me wrong—saying “sorry” should never be completely removed from your vocabulary. However, we need to be aware of what we are apologizing for, how it affects us, and how it shapes the people around us. When apologies become so instinctual that we apologize for taking up space, for changing, for choosing ourselves, they become detrimental to our well-being. But I’ve been unlearning that, and maybe you should too. Here are a few things I am no longer apologizing for, and neither should you.

1. Setting Boundaries

I used to have a chronic case of people-pleasing syndrome, saying yes to things that drained me just to avoid disappointing others. Sometimes, I found myself telling white lies that made me feel miserable; lies that spiraled into a web that suffocated me. It didn’t make sense, and it still doesn’t. I could have simply said no.

Now, I understand that “NO.” is a full sentence. Your time, energy, and mental well-being are valuable. Saying no to plans, declining extra work, or choosing solitude over forced socialization doesn’t make you rude or selfish, it makes you intentional. Boundaries are sacred; they protect your peace, and you don’t owe anyone an apology for that.

2. Prioritizing Myself

There’s a difference between selfishness and self-preservation. People often confuse the two. They don’t see that the constant sacrifices you make for them are causing you to wither. They take and take and take. As long as you’re willing to give, they won’t stop to consider your well-being.

So, you must choose what’s best for you; whether it’s rest, a career move, or cutting off toxic relationships. You must preserve your sanity. They may see it as selfishness, and that is fine. It isn’t something to feel guilty about. You can’t pour from an empty cup. I used to think I needed to be available for everyone, but I’ve realized that if I don’t show up for myself first, I won’t have anything left to give.

3. Changing My Mind

You are allowed to change your mind. The thing that most people don’t understand when looking out from the window of their own minds is this: The mind is like the moving staircases in Hogwarts—it is ever-changing. So, should we be judged for something that is natural? Should we apologize for being human? No.

Maybe you once said yes to something that no longer serves you. Maybe you pursued a path that no longer aligns with your values. You’re allowed to change your mind. You owe no one consistency at the cost of your happiness. I’ve pivoted in life more times than I can count, and each shift has brought me closer to my truth.

4. Not Meeting Unrealistic Expectations

Society, family, and even my past-self have set expectations that I felt obligated to meet, whether it was a timeline for success, marriage, or how I “should” behave. These expectations often disregard individuality. There is no universal blueprint for life.

Live at your own pace, not someone else’s. I used to think I was “falling behind” because my journey didn’t look like everyone else’s. Now, I realize I’m just writing a different story.

5. Loving What (or Who) I Love

My passions, interests, and relationships are my own. If something brings me joy and doesn’t harm anyone, I don’t need to justify it. Whether it’s a career path others don’t understand, a lifestyle that doesn’t fit the mold, or a relationship most deem unconventional, I own it unapologetically.

I used to downplay my excitement about certain things because I feared judgment or ridicule. Not anymore. I am embracing all of me—the parts I love, the parts I am learning to love, and the ones people don’t love about me. And that’s okay. I am done apologizing; I am simply loving and living.

6. Speaking Up

Silencing myself to make others comfortable was a habit I had to break. Whether it’s advocating for myself, calling out injustice, or simply expressing my truth, my voice matters. You’re not responsible for managing other people’s discomfort when you’re being authentic.

People often need to hear the truth, even when it’s a rude awakening. If confrontation is the only way out of a hellhole, then so be it. I’ve lost count of the times I bit my tongue to keep the peace but now, I choose honesty over forced harmony.

7. My Past Mistakes

Don’t we all have demons we battle? Mistakes we’ve made? Chapters we don’t read out loud? Growth comes from acknowledging and learning, not from constantly apologizing. Our mistakes don’t define us. Learning from them and forgiving ourselves is what I call growth.

You are not the person you were yesterday. Opinions change, new ways of thinking emerge, and perspectives shift. That is the beauty of being human. Our change is as constant as our growth—physically, mentally, and emotionally. You don’t have to keep explaining yourself for who you used to be. I have made mistakes, but I refuse to let them define me. My past is a lesson, not a life sentence. So move on.

8. Taking Up Space

For years, I tried to make myself smaller—physically, emotionally, intellectually, and even creatively, just to fit into spaces that weren’t designed for me. I was scared to raise my hand in class, even when I knew the answer, for fear of being labeled an I-too-know or being ridiculed for a wrong response.

It seeped into my work life. I hesitated to share ideas or voice concerns about work policies because I didn’t want to be “trouble.” It began to affect me creatively: I tamed my wild creative thoughts just to fit in.

Not anymore. I am done feeling sorry for myself and for my opinions. I belong in every room I enter. I take up space, embrace my presence, and own my worth without feeling like I need permission.

There’s freedom in letting go of unnecessary apologies. We are human; complex, flawed, and ever-evolving. The sooner we stop apologizing for simply being ourselves, the more liberated we become.

So, tell me, what are you no longer apologizing for?